I first met Dr. Pooja Lakshmin when I saw her article about burnout and betrayal (the Primal Scream in the New York Times). A lightbulb went off when I realized that I was internalizing so much about how I wasn't able to do it all as a mother, wife, business owner, writer, and person in the world. Between having two young kids in the pandemic and trying to start my own business, I was exhausted, sometimes frozen, angry, and often in tears.Ever since, I've followed her writing and work on instagram, where she shares wisdom around women's mental health from a psychology perspective. Honestly, I feel RELIEF when I read what she's writing! This book has been a brilliant follow-up to her work across the web. Being burned out and feeling betrayed by broken systems is real. But what do you DO about it? Is there any antidote or solution?It turns out, if you're wishing for a vacation or you're fantasizing about escape... well, that's a sign that your current life is likely burning you out. Instead of buying the next fancy retreat or spa package (those are delightful, don't get me wrong!)—she recommends you start with her four-part framework.Pooja writes about where our individual agency comes in: what can we do about this, and what's within our control? This is the delicate dance of self care.She also shares the history of self-care and where the idea comes from (it was a mental health term often for institutionalized folks, and it was revolutionized by Black women in different movements before it's been co-opted today as a thing that you can purchase, buy, or sell). I appreciate this full history.I got a chance to review an early copy of this book (I'm a podcaster, and I interviewed her for my show)—and I also purchased my own copy of this book. Here's what I got from the book:So how do we do self-care in an overwhelming world? Her framework brings alignment between your values and what you can do, and highlights where you might be misaligned. I'll share a few sneak peeks without giving it all away:1 — How to know what's yours, how to create space between you and the people you care about, how to define what belongs to someone else (guess what word she uses for this first step?)2 — How to develop a new relationship with your mind (her insights on A&C therapy and how she describes psychological flexibility I found so cool). This is a more advanced psychological concept and I appreciate the depth here; it's not superficial.3 — How to identify what really matters to YOU, what brings you energy. She has a specific tool called the self-care compass which is a great framework (and I like having it next to my desk at work).4 — How to regain power and agency. For me, regaining your sense of control is HUGE in self-care, and she explains where and how you can claim your power.For women especially, but also men need this too (boundary work is HARD for all). Also, her opening story about joining a cult? Riveting.Buy this book, it's well-written, easy to read, and important to act on.